This Is Us
The Handmaid’s Tale
House of Cards
Better Call Saul
BL: I feel like Handmaid’s Tale will take it because it’s so relevant socially. It’s like, the show of our times.
T: I know it’s been said many times before, but it truly feels like we’re just a few steps away from the world that The Handmaid’s Tale flashes back to, so it gives us a glimpse into a future that feels entirely possible right now. A sci-fi dystopia this ain’t. Aside from the excellent timing of the show, it’s brilliantly written, acted and shot television – a sure winner for any year. The Crown is also brilliant, but much more traditional, I suppose. I say Handmaid’s Tale or The Crown takes it.
SC: I would just like to say I watched one episode of This Is Us and it was really bad.
T: You know what? I watched the first couple, and I would happily have got together with you and watched it and eaten pizza and cried over the cheesy nonsense storylines. But alas it just doesn’t fit into my life.
SC: We would only watch it for Fat Mandy and her weight loss problems but okay, maybe you are right. I will go with The Handmaid’s Tale.
T: I feel like we should have watched The Americans but honestly it just doesn’t interest me. Good for it though, I hear it’s good. Fun to see Strangers Things here, I guess.
SC: I feel like Stranger Things was just like Steven Spielberg porn. It was just like “here is the 80s! Remember?!”
T: Westworld is a big bag of no.
S: The robots were cool. The story blew.
T: Wait there were robots? I thought it was cowboys or some shit?
SC: Thomas the robots were cowboys…or were the cowboys robots?!
T: MIND. BLOWN.
Actor in a Drama Series
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us
Matthew Rhys, The Americans
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Anthony Hopkins, Westworld
Liev Schrieber, Ray Donovan
Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us
T: Don’t care. Give it to Sterling K. Brown, he was great in OJ. Milo is hot. Team Jess! (shoutout to my Gilmore Girls fans wooo!).
SC: You and everyone else who has a Netflix account will enjoy that shout out. You are all lemmings!
SC: Netflix totally told you to watch Gilmore Girls. It told everyone.
T: I’m so glad it did. Best show ever. Okay look we’re getting sidetracked because we don’t care about this category. Who do you want to win?
SC: I glanced through and I decided Bob Odenkirk. I watched the first season of Better Call Saul. I liked it. I liked that weird show he did with David…?
SC: Yes, Tobias. Give it to him.
T: Yeah I like Bob, he’s good, I can handle him winning.
Actress in a Drama Series
Claire Foy, The Crown
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder
Keri Russell, The Americans
Evan Rachel Wood, Westworld
T: Gotta be Lizzie. Although Claire Foy would be great, but she hasn’t won anything at the Globes or the BAFTAs so I doubt it.
B: I hope you’re right about Lizzie.
SC: Yes it has to be Elisabeth. Like I stated above she’s the backbone of everything she is in and she kept getting snubbed and it’s not okay. Give her one right now. She’s very good. And did you know that she chose the colour of red that robes were going to be? Talent!
T: What a fun fact! I didn’t know that. Go her! Here’s another fun fact: all her shows win Best Drama! Picket Fences, West Wing, Mad Men. All winners. This bodes well.
S: She is the four leaf clover of Emmy dramas. Now give her one for herself please. She shouldn’t have to share.
BL: What’s… what’s Picket Fences?
T: Picket Fences was a CBS drama about a small town that ran from 1992-1996, starring Tom Skerritt and Kathy Baker. There’s nothing else to say.
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
John Lithgow, The Crown
Jeffrey Wright, Westworld
Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul
Michael Kelly, House of Cards
Ron Cephas Jones, This Is Us
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
David Harbour, Stranger Things
T: I love John Lithgow, he was great in The Crown. You go for it. I’ve loved him since 3rd Rock from the Sun.
BL: Yes. Even though I feel like 90% of his work in this show is just having big old man jowls. But that’s how it should be.
S: Okay yes I’m fine with him winning this. I don’t care about this category much besides him. I want to see that movie he made, Love Is Strange. Looks good. Have you seen it?
T: You know what? I tried. It’s a rich white people problems drama that’s pretty unengaging. Or else I wasn’t in the mood. I dunno. I was underwhelmed.
S: Oh darn. I was hoping it would be a tearjerker. Well I’m sure something else will come out where he’ll be someone’s dad.
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things
Chrissy Metz, This Is Us
Thandie Newton, Westworld
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black
Ann Dowd, The Handmaid’s Tale
Samira Wiley, The Handmaid’s Tale
B: Where’s Winona Rider for Stranger Things? Specifically, the nomination should read “Winona Rider’s face and tear ducts, Stranger Things.”
T: Everyone thought Winona would get nominated. But she was. So. Bad. So bad. But like…in a really compelling way. OMG maybe she was doing terrible 80s movie Mum acting? Maybe her whole performance was genius?
BL: I think that was it. The whole show is so campy, so I feel like she decided to lean into the camp, or else the directors knew that that was what she’d do and just let her go for it.
S: Poor Winona. She’s always been so pretty but could she ever really act? She just kind of chews her cheeks and speaks monotone. She’s got a great agent though.
T: Uzo Aduba, stop being nominated please. There are better people in the cast.
S: Yeah I don’t understand that. Don’t get me wrong. Don’t send us hate mail (if anyone actually reads this), I love me some Uzo Aduba but can’t we just throw some other amazing actresses on OITNB a nod. Suggestions: Laverne Cox. Or Samira Wiley – double nomination! Or Danielle Brooks!
T: Ahem, Laverne is up for guest actress.
S: Why?! She’s on the show!
T: Nah man. She’s barely there anymore. She’s off making shitty procedurals with Katherine Heigl. Also, fun fact, if you appear in less than 50% of the eps in a season, you can go in as Guest. Extra Emmy nom, win.
Master of None
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
S: Ooh this category is fun. Finally some room to debate! I’m between Atlanta and Master of None. Kimmy can have it next year.
T: I can’t forgive Master of None for that godawful Manic Pixie Pasta Girl bullshit they pulled. Angela Bassett episode aside, I found that it kinda ruined the season.
S: I know I know. Pasta Girl was Al Dente. HAHA!
T: That joke…doesn’t even…what…?
S: But the other episodes Thanksgiving, I Love New York I was losing my mind!
BL: Stephanie feels no need to explain the joke. If we don’t get it, it’s our loss.
T: Those episodes were transcendent, I agree. But then he let us all down very badly.
S: Okay if we are going for a solid epic season then I have to give it to my man Donald Glover. I hope he reads this. This show was epic, poignant and also really funny. He’s already got a Globe, give him an Emmy!
T: I’d be fine with him winning an Emmy. I still need to watch this show. Um, can we talk about the lack of a nomination for Transparent? I mean, I get it, it’s not a comedy, but still. Great TV.
S: Oh, true. Yeah that should have always been in the drama. That’s a straight up The Martian faux pas. I am disappointed too now that you mention it. Jill Soloway is everything.
T: But what wins here? Probably Veep again?
BL: I watched the complete latest season of Veep on planes this year because I guess that’s what my life is now. It’s good and will probably win, even though sometimes it does that comic-panel-from-The-New-Yorker thing where it’s not that funny but it somehow communicates to you that if you don’t find the joke uproarious it’s your own fault because you’re not a very sophisticated person.
T: Whereas when Armando was still running the show, it was actually hilarious.
S: I bet you Atlanta. They are winning things. I’m telling you.
Actor in a Comedy Series
Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent
Aziz Ansari, Master of None
Donald Glover, Atlanta
Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
William H. Macy, Shameless
Zach Galifianakis, Baskets
T: Zach Galifianakis can do one. Don’t care about him. Give this to Donald, amirite? Or Jeffrey.
S: Yeah I think Donald for this one. Although it’s always tricky when you are the star of your own show. It’s less acting and more like embodying this version of yourself. When I looked at Aziz and Donald I was like I feel like what they’ve created is amazing as a whole. I know, I know, you don’t like Manic Pasta Dream Girl. However, besides Tambor, this category is light so I am going to go Donald.
T: It really is. Go for it, Donald.
BL: I feel like it will probably just go to Tambor though.
Actress in a Comedy Series
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Veep
Tracee Ellis Ross Black-ish
Ellie Kemper Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Allison Janney Mom
Lily Tomlin Grace and Frankie
Pamela Adlon, Better Things
Jane Fonda, Grace and Frankie
T: JANE FUCKING FONDA. She smashed it.
BL: Yes. If my math is right then this nomination is for the second season of Grace and Frankie? In which case it should be Jane Fonda because of her multi-episode binge drinking. She acts drunk super well, and when she makes terrible mistakes, we’re all there, making them with her.
T: It’s not, but what you say still stands. Um, who on Earth is Pamela Adlon and what is this show?
S: I just tried Googling her and I’m less clear. Also funny reading-lol moment. I was just like what is this show Janney Mom. What’s Allison up to?
T: Allison stars in Janney Mom, coming this Fall on NBC. I would watch that show.
S: We’d binge watch the shit out of that. What do you think Allison Janney is doing right now?
T: She’s getting hammered on her wagon of Emmys.
S: Just draped in Emmys.
T: Sounds painful. Umm JLD has won this category for five years running…can anyone unseat her?
S: That’s pretty legit JLD. Remember when she played the blind lady in Arrested Development?
T: Yes, and it was genius. Please can we give this to Lily Tomlin now please?
S: You know I would give anything to Lily if she needed it. It’s hers!
BL: Fine by me.
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin, Saturday Night Live
Tony Hale, Veep
Louie Anderson, Baskets
Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Matt Walsh, Veep
T: So Alec Baldwin is here. Okay then. For that shitty Trump impression.
S: Really Alec Baldwin shade? I wasn’t expecting that.
T: From me?
S: Do you hate Alec Baldwin?
T: OMG no! I just…hmm…I dunno. Surely there are more people who could have taken this slot?
S: Ah I see. Eh, let him have a nom. Maybe not a win though. It was pretty hysterical.
T: No not a win. We all know this HAS to go to Titus.
BL: Completely. Let him have it.
S: I was just going to say. Let’s get back to the real issue which is how Titus is the funniest person alive. And how he resembles you and also a pug dog.
T: Tina Fey stole my life to write Titus. I’m going to sue her. Or at least demand half of this Emmy.
S: Omg remember when that company stole Titus’ likeness to sell sassy gas products. THAT’S YOU!
T: So meta, Tina.
S: Please insert a photo of you Titus and a Pug below this category. Thank you.
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Bayer, Saturday Night Live
Leslie Jones, Saturday Night Live
Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Judith Light, Transparent
Kathryn Hahn, Transparent
T: Right so how did THREE SNL ladies get in here? I mean, good for them, but kinda makes for a dull category.
S: I was like yeah sorry cut Vanessa Bayer, maybe? Also. who cares…JUDITH AND KATHRYN.
BL: No, I liked Vanessa Bayer’s weather girl who was too nervous to talk properly. Also I think it’s her last season so this is the last-hurrah nomination.
T: Judith wins for Hand in my Pocket. Kathryn wins for best actress alive. The new Meryl. A tie? Anna Chlumsky go home.
S: New Meryl. So bold. Yeah, I just love Kathryn. She can do literally no wrong, ever. Although that Judith and her Alanis. The judges will never be able to decide. It has to be a tie. And they can lipsync for their lives to see who wins. I’ve been watching too much Drag Race.
T: WHERE’S JANE KRAKOWSKI?
Best Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie
Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies
Riz Ahmed, The Night Of
John Turturro, The Night Of
Geoffrey Rush, Genius
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: The Lying Detective
Ewan McGregor Fargo
T: I’m so glad Robert De Niro got a nomination for that Wizard of Oz remake or whatever.
S: I heard it was good. I almost watched it with my sister but then we watched Bad Moms instead which KATHRYN HAHN is in.
T: She’s getting a lot of Oscar buzz for it.
S: That’s a joke right?
T: If I had it my way…anyway, I don’t care about these people, give it to Riz Ahmed because he’s the best.
S: Okay look was The Night Of amazing? No. Is Riz Ahmed the biggest QT babe that I have such a crush on? Yes. So there you have it.
T: Crushing haaaaard. Okay happy Emmys Riz!
Best Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Jessica Lange, Feud
Susan Sarandon, Feud
Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies
Carrie Coon, Fargo
Felicity Huffman, American Crime
T: Holy Christ. Best category ever.
S: Yeah this is literally your wet dream of a category.
T: Ew, but yes.
S: Ha. Okay I’m sorry everyone was great but NICOLE acted the MOST.
T: You know what……….I completely agree. Nicole wins.
S: If you don’t believe us just watch Nicole’s therapy scene where she displays 700 emotions without saying a word.
T: If anyone was unconvinced of Nicole’s towering genius, this show will change their mind. Abso, 100%. Now then, Felicity Huffman you’re a genius, I love you, but you’re going home empty-handed along with Carrie Coon.
S: Ha. We could have left it at just praising Nicole but you just had to throw shade on Felicity.
T: I was getting them out of the way so I could focus on the big juicy performances by Jessica and Susan as Joan and Bette.
S: Fair. I mean Felicity isn’t going to win, let’s be real. Jessica and particularly Susan had a great year. I love Susan’s Bette. Big shoes too. Impressive.
T: Susan WAS Bette. There were times I had to blink a few times and remember that it wasn’t actually Bette on my screen. It was a mesmerising performance. Although Jessica didn’t become Joan in quite the same way, she absolutely smashed it and gave a towering, heartbreaking performance. If it was Jessica V Susan I think I’d give it to Jessica.
S: It’s almost sad we have so much talent in the same category. I feel like summoning up some pageant tears and declaring “we are all winners!”
T: Nicole should break her trophy and give pieces to everyone else.
S: One piece for Regina George!
Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie
Stanley Tucci, Feud
Alexander Skarsgard, Big Little Lies
Alfred Molina, Feud
David Thewlis, Fargo
Bill Camp, The Night Of
Michael Kenneth Williams, The Night Of
S: I feel bad saying Skarsgard should win because Perry was so creepy and terrible but it was a really good performance.
T: Agreed. It feels weird, but he was incredible. Personally, I’d give this to Alfred Molina.
S: Yeah it’s awks to award spousal abuse so maybe we should give it Alfred Molina. Or how about Stanley Tucci? He’s always sidekicking around.
T: Oh he was great in Feud. Where he screams CUUUUUNT about Bette Davis. So great.
S: Sounds like we’ve made a decision: Stanley Tucci for yelling CUNT at Susan Sarandon…Is that awkward too though? I don’t know, I’m lost in this category.
T: Tucci wins for saying CUNT. Deal.
Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie
Regina King American Crime
Michelle Pfeiffer, The Wizard of Lies
Laura Dern, Big Little Lies
Judy Davis Feud
Jackie Hoffman, Feud
Shailene Woodley, Big Little Lies
T: Shailene Woodley, go home.
S: Ugh she is the one thing wrong with Big Little Lies. You know I was talking to someone, (might have been you) and we were saying how Reese literally had the worst plotline and she was mesmerizing. Shailene you had rape survivor single mom raising a child and you were like watching paint dry. Why Shailene? Why?
T: I know right? She was way out of her depth. Judy Davis was hilarious as the gorgon Hedda Hopper, and Jackie Hoffman was also brilliant as Mamacita. But for me this goes to Laura Dern. Or does it? Did she do that much?
S: Yeah I might be blinded by my Laura Dern love. Like I can literally watch that Frozen Birthday Party Drama for dayz. But I think one of the Feud ladies might be more deserving. I bet they will give it to Shailene.
T: Ugh please god no. I vote for Judy Davis.
S: I like the character name Mamacita so she gets my vote.
Big Little Lies
Feud: Bette and Joan
The Night Of
T: This goes to BLL right? In my heart it goes to Feud.
S: Yeah it’s def going to BLL. I’m happy though. That show was all kinds of genius and it only did SEVEN fantabulous episodes. Get in there, make a great show, get out.
The Wizard of Lies
Sherlock: The Lying Detective
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
Black Mirror: San Junipero
Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colours
T: Dolly. Parton.
S: Haha of course. Look I’m sorry I can’t go down that road with you because San Junipero was the most heartbreakingly beautiful thing i saw this year and I sat and bawled alone for 5 minutes after the credits.
T: OK I’ll go with that.
S: Wait till Ben gets here. I know he’ll agree with me.
T: No he won’t he doesn’t understand women, esp. Lesbians.
S: Ben stand up for yourself poindexter!
BL: The only correct I have to make is that I understand lesbians slightly better than I understand straight women. But yes, I completely agree with Stephanie, San Junipero is possibly my favourite thing I watched last year.
T: I just really think the academy should like pull a shocker and give it to that shitty Lifetime Dolly Parton movie. Can you imagine the uproar? It would almost be as good as accidental La La Land Oscar envelope non-winner gate.
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline
Hank Azaria, Ray Donovan
Gerald McRaney, This Is Us
B.D. Wong, Mr. Robot
Brian Tyree Henry, This Is Us
Denis O’Hare, This Is Us
T: I don’t know what these words mean.
S: This category is a snoooooreeeeeee. Why is everyone from This Is Us? It isn’t good.
T: Fuck they’ve really gone for it right? I vote BD Wong, whoever he is. Maybe he plays the robot on Mr Robot, I don’t know, I don’t care.
S: Yes he plays the Robot that convinces all the other robots to perform a broadway musical ROBOTS!
T: Oh shit that’s what this show is? I should get on that…
S: yes you can here the award winning song “Love Me Before I Rust Away.” Tear. Jerker.
T: Can you imagine the pitch meeting? “It’s SMASH, but with ROBOTS!”
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Cicely Tyson, How to Get Away With Murder
Laverne Cox, Orange Is the New Black
Shannon Purser, Stranger Things
Alison Wright, The Americans
Alexis Bledel, The Handmaid’s Tale
Ann Dowd, The Leftovers
BL: It’s gotta be Barb. Nobody would be complaining about justice for Barb if it weren’t for that actual performance.
T: BARB! Barb for the win! I love that she’s nominated. That’s just the coolest. Also RORY GILMORE yeeeey. She was amazing in Handmaid’s Tale. Honestly I never knew she had it in her.
S: You know what? While I was watching that show I was like I’m not hating on Alexis Bledel and that’s very surprising for me. So in line with that I will award her an Emmy!
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Matthew Rhys, Girls
Riz Ahmed, Girls
Lin-Manuel Miranda, Saturday Night Live
Dave Chappelle, Saturday Night Live
Tom Hanks, Saturday Night Live
Hugh Laurie, Saturday Night Live
T: If Riz is winning for actor in a limited series, then this should go to Lin-Manuel Miranda because he was amazing and he’s amazing and I love him. Insert Hamilton pun here.
S: Wow, so much SNL. Um yes. Riz can win for The Night Of. I did not enjoy the writing for his character in Girls. He felt like an afterthought. Lin-Manuel! As Thomas knows I broke down and started listening the Hamilton soundtrack this week (I wanted to wait until I saw the musical, but that might never happen) I also watched Moana. And I’m just like Lin Manuel you are so freakin talented. Oh Thomas maybe he can get an EGOT!
T: I have every faith that he will, but he’s currently just an EG.
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Wanda Sykes, Black-ish
Becky Ann Baker, Girls
Melissa McCarthy, Saturday Night Live
Carrie Fisher, Catastrophe
Angela Bassett, Master of None
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
T: I’m torn. Carrie Fisher, the Lord ha’mercy on her soul, is great and should posthumously win things. However, this has to go to Angela Bassett for one of the best episodes of television ever on Master of None. Gutted there’s no Laura Dern for Kimmy Schmidt.
S: I feel the same way. RIP Carrie. We love you. But ANGELA. Oh my word. That episode is amazing. I also just recently rewatched Waiting to Exhale. I relived the moment where Angela burns all her husband’s clothes because he leaves her for a white woman and this is totally unrelated but I just wanted to talk about that. Best scene ever. Angela for the win!
30 for 30
Planet Earth II
T: The Keepers x 1000. Although Planet Earth was amazing. Those snakes gave me nightmares.
S: FUCKING JANE DOE OH DEAR GOD THAT SHOW. THE SADNESS. THE ANGER. FUCK FUCK FUCK. MURDER NUN SHOW HAS TO WIN.
Jane Doe! Oh dear God, that show. The sadness. The anger. Fuck. Murder Nun show has to win.
T: Sister Cathy! Jane Doe aka Glenn Close! Oh god this show made me cry with sadness and rage. All the Emmys.
S: It is the LEAST you can do. ALL OF THEM. Sidebar that little lizard guy who got away from the snakes in Planet Earth two. I’ve never cheered so loud.
TD: I know right? Actually had a nightmare about those snakes tho. My therapist found that very interesting.
S: Snakes are trying to get you! WATCH OUT!